‘Baby kick your shoes off and relax. We ain’t in a rush so just kick back, all I need is your attention for what I’m needing’

– K-Young (Lay You Down)

Image from Usher’s U Got It Bad Video 

Getting to the level of comfortability with someone is not easy. Being naked in front of them for the first time can make you feel vulnerable and self conscious because there’s no where to hide. They’re literally seeing all of you.

Things can get awkward pretty fast or you might just be nervous to take things to the next step… and that’s okay. We’ve all been there, whether you’re just hooking up with someone new or it’s your first time having sex with your partner.

Busle says you have to be brave enough to address the issue, rather than just pretend everything’s fine and you’re really a nervous wreck.

It’s okay to feel shy, but the most important thing is that you have fun because sex shouldn’t be taken serious. You need to have someone that you can laugh with even when things don’t go right because sex isn’t perfect.

HowStuffWorks says that a common insecurity is about “performance”. Women worry that they’ll take too long to orgasm or that they won’t be able to. Men are concerned that they’ll ejaculate too quickly or not get hard enough.

Here’s some tips on how to make yourself more acquainted with your partner in the bedroom. This is from my personal experience so if it worked for me, I’m sure it’ll be no different for you.

Step 1:

Communicate with your partner and let them know your concerns and fears. By doing this, they should reassure you that even if it isn’t great the first time, they’ll be patient with you and lead you along the way. Talk about your sexual fantasies, what you want, and how you want it done.

Step 2

Walk around the house naked sometimes. We all have certain insecurities about our bodies, but that’s also why we should embrace them. Nobody’s perfect! Turn on some music and start dancing! Music makes everything better so let go and be free. Look yourself in the mirror and just own it, no matter what shape your in.

Step 3:

MASTER BATE! Yes I said it! Go to the sex store and get some sex toys and lube. It’s important that you learn your own body first. By you exploring your pleasure spots, it’ll be easier to guide your partner to the things that make you orgasm. You’re definitely going to be vocal on what you like and dislike. At first you’ll feel a little weird, but once you get that spot babyyyyy you’re going to meet God himself!

Step 4

Watch porn & practice. If you want to be good at something you have to see it first then try it yourself. The more you practice the better you’ll get. Give yourself time and don’t be too hard on yourself. Relax, don’t be so timid and don’t think too much. Just let things flow. If you’re a virgin, don’t expect your first time to be like a porno. Remember this is your first time ever doing something like this so you have to be realistic with yourself. The more you watch and do, the better you’ll get and that’ll also inspire you to try new things.

Step 5

HAVE FUN! Sex should not be taken serious. Laugh and smile during silly or awkward moments causes 9/10 your partner feels the same way. This will bring y’all closer. Be experimental, you don’t have to keep doing the same positions. If it isn’t fun for you than you shouldn’t be doing it. They’re here to get theirs so make sure you’re having a good time and getting yours too!

I want all my shy caterpillars to break free from their cocoon and be a butterfly. I challenge all my readers that are still in their shells, boy or girl to do these steps and share your stories with me. I’m confident that with the steps I’ve given you, y’all are going to be well acquainted.

Life is too short, we all deserve to have the best sex of our lives! Get out there and make me proud.